Limerence and My Situation 5

[sandi2]

As betrayed as I still feel, I see more things I would do differently if I had the information then, that I have now. I see my own role more clearly.

IMHO, that statement pretty much explains what all of us are doing on this thread, and probably with most newcomers. We are trying to pass along experiential information or what we've learned through other sources.

As I previously stated, when I read Mark's responses, it often reminds me of when I was the newcomer, so I suppose I feel empathy. I remember the very first post Puppy (long time vet) responded behind mine......I was pi$$ed. Well, I came across that old post one day and was able to read it without taking it as a direct slap in the face. After reading his old threads, I learned his own W was wayward and he was responding from his own experience and what he had learned through his mentors and educated materials on the subject. Until I could get better acquainted with his personality and writing style, I'll admit he could challenge me. To this day, he is one of the vets I most respect.

I said all of that to say this.....when I read the posts on this thread, I can see what posters are saying pretty much of the time....even if they don't break down the message fully. Perhaps it helps by being more familiar with ones who we've followed.....or we recognize where their post is intended, b\c we have are familiar with the theme. I've been here so long until I recognize the main message the poster is trying to relate.....b\c I have seen the same messages being passed down to newer members for years. Now me...well, I've written the same thing over and over until I catch myself trying to get too much covered at once or getting in a hurry. The results could lead to untended implications. Sometimes I read someone else explaining something I've written.....and I think OMG, is that how they took what I said?

Not everyone agrees all the time with everyone. Personally, I feel I can learn from most everyone....if nothing else, their opinion. And my opinion here is that we are trying to get Mark to see or agree with what we say. But I know from myself that if a reader takes it as an insult, it's going to be difficult to change their viewpoint by what we are telling them. (And if you've ever read any of my posts, then you know I am not talented or skilled in tact, but I am working on it :), but I doubt I will ever be like Another Stander. Now that man has tact!). I say this for Mark, and any newcomer's behalf (which nearly all of you are newcomers).

On behalf of those who have recently posted to you, Mark, I truly don't see them trying to make you sound like a "bad" H. However, I do recognize the language. For instance, "entitlement" was used to help define the wayward wife when I first came on board and bumped heads with Puppy. I use that word in my own posts. It is not a slam against the H. It is describing the mindset of the WW. I understood Gingers post as well as the others, and I knew what she was trying to relate to you. So, I hope you won't wear out and quit. Please don't take what is said as attacks or insults. Trust me when I say that if you hang around here long enough, you will begin understanding the language or message in a more objective way.
At least, maybe it won't feel so offensive to you.