She claimed I was gas lighting her and I was mentally abusive.
There was one comment about her having feelings about someone else, but this is was quickly backtracked on and she apologised for making the comment and advised it was purely a shoulder to cry on. Both my and her therapist, advised that when people are in turmoil they can have fantasy thoughts about a nicer life somewhere in the future whether it is real or not, and they believe this is what she had been doing. I have to be honest I never believed it for one second and she has never dropped a hint like that again, nor is she shifty around me, and she leaves her phone around all the time and handed it me to use at the weekend.
I am under no illusion that at some point she may have been interested in someone else. But to be honest I cant blame her for wanting to be happy when I was a co-dependent emotional energy leech.
In reference to me changing, I guess I saw myself for what I was. Previously I used to love telling people about my terrible upbringing, I gave me a conversation point, a reason to moan, a reason not to move on. I stupidly thought that she would just put up with it because she was my wife.
When she left, it was like jumping into a cold bath. My perspective changed and I realised I was a fully grown man responsible for my own actions and destiny. Any security or happiness I needed had to stop coming from others and I needed to come to rely on myself.
So that’s what I did. Some times we went a week without speaking. I was told that when she walked she was afraid of what I would do to myself. So when she came back and saw me out with friends, or improving my body, or having a relationship with my parents, it was like wooahhh who is this guy???
At first she thought it was an act. So we started dating once a week. After a while she started to believe. And now she truly believes and we are ready to start again stronger than ever.
As I said previously I would have killed to have this moment 6 months ago, but now I have it I'm nice and chilled because she is lucky to have me as much as I am lucky to have her.
