Anything you can think of or any tack I can take to help things along, or just, as you indicate below, keep my lip zipped for now (even if W asks if I "want to talk") and wait for MC to bring it up?
If she asks if you want to talk, I would say something like...."At the moment, I simply want to encourage you to take the opportunity to meet alone with the MC". But IDK, it may just lead her to start picking you. You can always answer with, "No, not at the moment".
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Yes, it is very troubling. And by "with girlfriends" she assuredly means with her single girlfriends including bff who very much DO behave like single girls and try to entice W to do so. I was VERY tempted to day something when my W said this yesterday, but I bit my tongue and actually said nothing. Should I have said something, do you think?
No, I think you were wise to not respond. She may start dropping these type of statements to get your reaction.......you know, like a test. She has BFF saying all sorts of negative things in her ear about you and the M, so I think you may expect more of this line type of testing from her.
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LOL my birthday is in april, about three weeks prior to hers (we are both Taurus, LOL). Are you suggesting I plan something for myself prior to her plans, to make her think about it? (I'll be 52, btw). FWIW, she has frequently been suggesting I go off to do things with my friends (she suggested I go to vegas with them when they go in November, most recently) but I have been reluctant to leave her at home by herself for that long a stretch.
It's a trap. If you go to Vegas with friends, then it justifies her GGW party.
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So, play it cool, but stay friendly and still engage socially, I presume (without overdoing it?) Letting her go out on her own last night to field hockey game with a couple of friends (these married and mothers of other highschoolers) seemed to go well, and she was curious afterwards about where I went. But it was tough on my part.
Yes, to your question. I know it must be very tough to see her go out, but you can't keep her locked up. With OM being a local person, there is always that chance they will run into each other.....whether planned or not.
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Also, interestingly, bff made a veiled pass at ME about the same time frame. W laughed it off at the time as probably nothing, but then again W had also said not much after that that the thought of me with another woman didn't bother her. frown
Oh don't you believe it! She does not want another woman refilling her position in your life. I think some WW's say things like that, b\c they are trying to justify their own emotional or physical infidelity......and who have no reason to be concerned that H may turn to another woman. Remember, WW's are very self-centered, and I think most are jealous, as well.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
