This is an example of how she benefits from having family time, and continue her affair. If that is what you want, that is your choice, but I am just pointing it out, and more will come during the next two and a half months.
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WW right away untagged herself from all the photos. I asked her why,
This is where you made your first mistake. It is an invitation for her to say something you don't like. Did it come after the friend's response of "Hummmm"?
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She said she had no interest in working on us, not because of OM, but because her heart was closed to me. Said even if there was no OM she would not work on us because it would be going backwards.
This is a very blunt statement from her. Your second mistake was how you continued to press her.....trying to change her mind.......which is the same as trying to manage her. She is rebelling to you managing her life.
So now what? She has given you her answer that she has no intentions of ever working on the MR.
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I have worked hard for the past to weeks to 180 on R, M, OM, and US talk. To just throw all that work away and possibly cause even more damage is extremely disheartening.....
Your mind is spinning b\c you are in panic mode. You are about to fall apart b\c you feel two weeks of hard work went down the drain. So, take a deep breath and try to think outside the box you've always used to process the same old ways that continue to fail in this situation.
How about adding a new 180? No more managing your WW. If you decide you are going to stay in the house with her, you must let go of her. Stop trying to persuade her to think differently. Stop asking why she did this or that. Stop taking everything she does so personal, b\c she can see how it affects you. And, stop having those talks where you try to change her mind again. Words don't work. Actions work. If she has no intentions of ever trying....and she plans to continue basking in the benefits of family life....what action will you take?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
