What to Do? 4

[sandi2]

I wasn't referring to the threads. You need to read the free download on the Internet. It explains everything.

I cannot stand that I keep getting these "sweaty bullets" every time W texts me something not nice... It has been a battle for me to keep my emotions in check when this happens. It's only until I express them on this board when I realize I am still being passive and not controlling my life.

Well, you are learning a new behavior and you don't feel fully confident that you have handled some things correctly. Chris, you have been "condition" to adjust your ways based on your W's moods. She ingrained something into you, and that was you had better not pi$$ her off. So, you kind of walk around on egg shells never knowing when she's going to blast on you. Trying to keep her in a good mood became a fulltime job. Those were the dynamics of your MR. If the M is going to be a success, those dynamics must change.

Be proud of yourself for standing up to her and telling her what you would need to reconcile. When she is texting unkind words, just remember that is bullying. She bullies you to whip you back under her thumb. She verbally stripes you of your manhood. But this time, you are stronger and you are not giving ANYONE power over your life. She will test you mightily, but keep showing her it doesn't work anymore. You are through answering to her and bending over for her beatings.

Thank you for your words sandi; you have shed major light on my sitch and i greatly appreciate it. I will go to the wedding w/e and GAL/NC.

Great! I'm proud of you for not falling for her pathetic game play. She really showed her true colors, IMHO.