I got a question. S13 has his 14th birthday coming up next Sunday. Basically I'm wondering if I should contact W and see if she wants to do something together for him or just leave it alone and do something separately?
My XW and I continued to plan birthdays together for the kids and in fact we still do. Two of my kids are grown and on their own now, but they've both told me that they appreciated us doing that for them, they said they would much rather have one "united" party than to try and have separate ones. My XW and I never had an adversarial relationship even during S and D though, so I think that may be a big part of why it works for us. Some people are dealing with WAS's or MLC'ers that are just plain crazy so I can certainly see how it wouldn't work for everyone.
And of course you have to do it without expectations, try to be OK with it either way before you call her. If she wants to do something together then great, if she doesn't then try to be good with that too.
