no big relationship issues to say we had over come throughout our 16 years... we have endured some trying conditions that could test the strongest of relationships. Like most I never in my wildest dreams could of imagined her leaving.
Can you give some more details on this? I have a hard time balancing the 'no issues' with 'extremely trying conditions'.
Originally Posted By: Clyde
I own my own business and am for the most part the sole provider for the household, at the time of the incident I was putting in over 100 hours a week for over 2 months with out a single day off... and prior to that I was averaging 60 hours a week (I'm in the construction industry). I had gotten home early one evening and was telling my wife that I was going to take the next day off and planned on having a buddy over to help me build a tree house for my daughter.
Not saying this is right or wrong, but I can see that if my ex had been out of the house for >14 hours a day every dqay and then came home to spend time with her buddy instead of doing the jobs that needed to be done, Id be pissed too. In her mind, the treehouse was a luxury item while the bedroom was a need. I imagine youve talked through this, but, just my thoughts. More below.
Originally Posted By: Clyde
I was already at the end of my rope after working 2 months straight with out a day off.
I think this may really be the root of the problem. Im grumpy after a 9 or 10 hour day. Let alone a 14 or 15 hour day. And then multiply that by 50-60 days in a row? I imagine that you were far less helpful or kind or involved in the family than you think you were. Not judging you, just pointing out that it's likely that this wasnt just 'a bad day'.
Originally Posted By: Clyde
So when my wife referred to our house as a (censored) hole, I was deeply offended as it takes all those hours I put in to keep this roof over our heads, and any free time I have after family time goes to maintaining/improving our home
You mention that you are the only one working. So what does your W do all day every day? My assumption is that she is cleaning or cooking or running errands or transporting your children. Do you think this is 'lesser' work? Do you consider you and W a team?
Originally Posted By: Clyde
I gave up all hobbies, hanging out with friends, etc dedicating all free time to my family long ago. So my response was not the best. I told her if she is not happy with what I provide, I will stay home and take care of the kids/house... and that she can go see what it takes to provide.
Do you see WHY this isnt the best? You are basically saying that her contributions are the lesser of the two. Like only the money that you make matters, but the daily job that she does (with no pay) has no value to you.
I am curious about the money habits of your family. If you are truly working 100 hours a week, I would think you all would have a pretty nice place or would have a nest egg to be able to plan to upgrade. Is your business doing well?
