B, I told her things I now regret. E.g. I'm pushing it through, I don't see a future for us etc back when I was angry and so sure I wouldn't take her back. That's why I have no idea what she even thinks about my intentions. I did say I'm sorry and explained that I was probably just trying to convince myself, and that I really appreciate her effort in our marriage... To which she said that she understands and accepts the apology. I'm not trying to make her sad, just say my final apology and "stand" for the M because I loved her and truly wanted to seek for all the possible help to save it. It took a lot to accept that I'm depressed and seek help for it. I should've done it before but I didn't. I probably wouldn't be here now if I did. I can only learn from my mistakes and hope that there's no health issues so I still have a good 40-50 years left - enough for a lot of happiness.
I will give it time, but by then it's too late D is going through in two months. She is more and more in love with OM. But those are things I can't control and dwelling on them will do no good. There is a future for me, just need to find my true passions, study more/get a job (->confidence, value for women), I'm pretty good looking and I am really funny when I'm not tired. So yes, I can see myself possibly enjoying family life in 5-10 years from now Not with XW but with someone new.
In my thirties, BDd 2017, divorced 2 young kids new relationship
D is going through in two months. She is more and more in love with OM. But those are things I can't control and dwelling on them will do no good. There is a future for me, just need to find my true passions, study more/get a job (->confidence, value for women), I'm pretty good looking and I am really funny when I'm not tired. So yes, I can see myself possibly enjoying family life in 5-10 years from now 
