have you tried a DB coach? It's not cheap, but neither is divorce.
Your d's involvement in asking your w to answer the 5 Love Language test breaks my heart.
What, if anything, does she know?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016