Any Advice 2

[gw5263]

Sandi,
I know only too well it is real. i just had a hard times understanding why she felt like she needed to continue getting her emotional needs filled by him when i was readily available to do that. After I found out what her issues were in the M i went about changing all of that. I have made, and probably continue to make mistakes, some huge ones , i must admit. My question i guess is how can i turn this ship around? I got the DR book today and im going to read it. I also have the five love languages book. I found out that her language is words of affirmation. How do i go about putting all this into play? She gets no needs other than basics met by me right now. No sex, no intimacy. no emotional. He does all the emotional.

We have been spending a lot of time together, and we have actually had a real good time doing so, talking, laughing, and joking with each other and the kids. I feel closer to her now than before the BD. I know im running in circles. I have done some 180's on my behavior~ stopped snooping, stopped looking at her posts on FB, actually used the take a break feature to prevent the posts from showing up, because i found myself checking to see if OM liked them and getting angry when he did.
I stopped m,entioning OM or her R with him, and stopped talking about our R. The first time we went to the store alone together, i could tell she was wincing, expecting me to start in on her about dumping him. When i didnt, she relaxed and we got along great.I dont read her texts to him anymore, and dont want to. Ii have basically shut him and their R out of my mmind.These were all big things for me up till two weeks ago. I always tried to catch her alone to try to talk her into dumping him, the high aspect makes sense, because her answer was always a sharp NO. I have read a small portion of the DR earlier, that says if emotional neglect was aan issue not to completely ignore her, or detach too hard. I've asked before, and at the risk of pissing some off, I ahve to ask again, now that i have changed some behaviors of mine that push her away, what do i need to do to meet her needs that he is meeting and help her end this? If Im going abouit this wrong or asking the wrong questions please let me know. We we looking at christmas decorations with the kids today, and she was all talk about how good it will be this year and we shoulc do this and we should do that. It might be wishful thinking, or cake eating, but it feelslike the old her is back for a visit. She has smiled and laughed more in the last week than she has all year...... Please correct me if im wrong and help me get right...