WAWWAW? Woul? Would Love Opinions. Thanks! Part 7

[BluWave]

J9, if there were a DBer of the month award, you would get my vote! Keep on, keepin on!

Blu

[joejoe1]

Yo J9eezy,

That was an awesome validation. Reality hits hard when it hits. You are the dad of the month. Those baby girls have an awesome father.

[TBSakaJ9]

LOL...thanks Blu and JJ just doing my thing. I have realized through this process that my W walked away from a great person. Sure I got a little lazy and was naïve to Love Languages and the nuances of relationships but I have always done these types of things with my girls and I always supported my W. I have had this re-enforced through my IC sessions as we have discussed my opportunities. I am truly content with who I am as a person and what I bring to the table in relationships. I will be smarter next time and add some new elements but the core of who I am is awesome!

I don't know what my W is going through or why she felt like she did. She couldn't even explain it to me so if she can't how would I figure it out? I have no anger, only empathy for her and sadness. I hope she truly finds the happiness she is looking for.

[joejoe1]

J9,

It's funny because that don't what they want sure as hell don't know what they want.

We as LBS watch as our WS go into this form of decay, while we get to a higher place spiritually, a better place mentally and physically and if don't right our WS are probably like how. Some might even think, wow, maybe I was holding my S back.

The work we put in becomes a blessing for all around us even our WS.

[AnotherStander]

I am at a loss on what to do but this is getting old. I mean I know the hardline stance is sorry go figure it out. If i did that it would be hard for me to do because I still think big picture and if this goes to D how would that play out??? When she does this it impacts me as well because it impacts my budget also. I know most folks would say tough you need to go figure it out, I just don't think it's the right thing to do, I mean we are technically still married.

I totally get where you are coming from. There might be some here that would say "screw her, that's her problem" but I happen to agree with you that you may have some financial responsibility towards her. I can't keep up with the exact details of everyone's sitches but if you were making most or all of the money in the M and will be subject to paying alimony then you do have some responsibility there and should help her out some if it's within your means. Also I do agree with your point that NOT doing so may accelerate her into pushing the D through simply for financial reasons, so that's a consideration too.

[Tread]

Isn't that ironic. The WW is actively having an A and wants to leave you. But yet your somehow financially obligated to this person. Just adding salt to the wound.

[TBSakaJ9]

Thanks AS, just trying to strike a balance so I dont come off as vindictive or trying to punish her. I also don't think lecturing her on her inability to stay on track with her budget would be effective either. I have offered to sit down again and re-visit the situation as well which she declined. I guess I wil just have to figure my way through it. I appreciate your support.

On a side note I hope everyone is well and had a good day. Feeling good, hit the gym this AM and then took my D's and dogs to the dog park for a bit. Then we came home and played outside for a while, the weather in TX was beautiful today.

This may go against Db principals but I said WTF. My texted and said she was coming over to bring the girls to me for the week. She also indicated she wasn't feeling good and thinks she caught the virus my youngest had last week. I told her i was sorry and to feel better, I also told her let me know if she needed anything. She didn't want to come in so she asked me to leave the garage door open so she could just put the stuff in the garage. I told her NP and I had a couple cans of tomato soup and crackers so I put that in the garage for her. After she left she sent me a text with a picture of the items saying LOL....thank you. Being the suave guy I am I didn't respond. Just trying to be the bigger person.......that's how I roll

[LH19]

Dude,

Totally cool as long as it was just a good deed. The universe will repay you for your kindness. Keep on keeping on!

[TBSakaJ9]

LH....yep, no expectations. I saw her pull up but didn't go outside, that would have been too much.

[25yearsmlc]

Isn't that ironic. The WW is actively having an A

and wants to leave you. But yet your somehow financially obligated to this person. Just adding salt to the wound.

what are you talking about? Did I miss something?