My goal is to continue working on myself and detaching. Trying to increase my contacts, career and physical goals. Also to get close with my own immediate family. Getting closer with my son. Also most importantly ensuring that S13 doesn't get thrown off completely by the changes.
OK. So these all seem like reasonable concepts. But they arent really goals. The way I learned it, goals should be SMART:
Specific Measurable Achievable Relevant Timely
So saying I want to get closer with my immediate family is good. But theres no indication of how you are going to do it or how you will judge whether you achieved it or not.
For example, lets say my goal is to 'eat healthier'. If I normally eat 2 quarter pounders with cheese and a XL fries and a 32 oz coke....trimming that to 2 quarter pounders without cheese and a L fries and a 20 oz coke is 'healthier', but it still wouldnt likely qualify as 'healthy'. So, does it meet the goal or not? It is difficult to judge.
In my mind, the more specific and measurable your goal is, the easier it is to attain it.
To apply to you, you say you dont want your son thrown off by the changes. Well, his mom and dad are already separated. So would coming together for a birthday party or even a dinner throw him off? If it were me as a 13 year old, I might think thats a sign mom and dad are getting back together - or working on it, at least. But it could also be a good way to model that despite your differences, you will both be there for him.
Sorry, there isnt a lot of great specific advice I have for you on this topic. My emphasis would be on figuring out what you want (as in goals) and then figuring out what to do to get there.
