But at the same time, when D5's reaction to getting a 2nd house was "YAY!" I wanted to vomit.
I can see why you would feel that way. I went through the same thing when we told D6 that XW was going to move out. She didn't say much, and when we asked her if she understood and what she thought of that, she said it was "great."
The truth is she didn't really understand what it meant. She understood that mommy would be at mamaw's house, which was something that made her happy, but not that our family was ending. It took a couple of months for her to really understand what the heck was going on. It was a month or two before she cried about it. She still does sometimes, even though it's been eight months since her mother left.
My advice is to let your daughter BE the five year old that she is and process it the way she needs to. "YAY" will probably give way to tears at some point, let her deal with it and talk about it on her schedule.
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If the kids are unhappy because my W is moving out I can take the "told you so" stance... but what good does that do? The kids are unhappy and my W feels guilty. It's like purposely trying to lose a game that you didn't want to play in the first place.
I write things on my bathroom mirror in dry erase marker. I've changed what's on there several times over the last half year, and one of the things that's on there right now (and I plan to leave there until I don't want things on the mirror anymore) is "moral victories are not victories."
I know you're already on the right track here, but always remember that a real victory is your children being happy and adjusting to the crap sandwich they've been handed. "Being right" might let you say "I told you so" but you haven't gained anything by that.
