Rebuilding my life #3

[Btrow]

25,
I get why you feel so strongly towards this particular subject, considering your own history. But I think LC got the message.

DB'ing is damn difficult. We come here for advice and we get a lot of "go dark", "friendly neighbor" "his/her sandbox" "counter intuitive" "not my circus" "no pursuit" etc. You get the picture. This is confusing..

It is hard when you have been dumped like yesterdays newspaper to be friendly towards the XW. Particular when there is a third party involved. We probably on some level want to be friendly but on the other hand, we do not like to be taken advantage of. We are guys. We have something called dignity. We already lost enough didn't we?
So it's a fine line we are walking here. And sometimes we slip up. I'm 100 percent sure every one here is there for their kids. And will do everything for them. But when it comes to the XW we might panic whenever there is a possibility to do a 180 or whatever. This appeared to be a thing for the XW, not for the kids. I know she is the mother of the children. But that's it... We got fired from the other job, you know.

My XW is currently "just" the mother of my kids. And if it's obvious that something I do for her will benefit the kids more than it does her, I do it. The other way around, not so sure.. Maybe I'm a jerk. Maybe if you go find OM before you leave (or even work sufficiently on) the marriage, you deserve that your XH is a jerk?

(just to clarify my stand on this, at some point when my XW for the umpteenth time asked me to take the kids on a friday night when she was going out, I told her to stop asking. UNLESS she had an emergency, or in her family, or if for some other reason, it was better for the kids to be with me than her).

But I still get why LC acted the way he did.