Sara

here are a few thoughts. How about you not get ahead of yourself? Your h gave you a very modest "compliment" essentially saying he has only seen a mean side to you until recently when you surrendered to his cheating and gave up on the m.

There was no conflict anymore, so now you wonder if you should retract what you are doing,

and thinking way down the road as if he's being very clear with you AND committed to the marriage

AND promising loyalty and fidelity,

but none of those things are happening. Your d got happy about you two getting along and that reminded you that divorce will be a challenge.

I get that. My kids are much older and there are still affects.


I just don't see what you are basing any second guessing on?

IF IF IF your h gains clarity and has a character transplant, I'll be very enthused and happy for you.

But the scrap he threw you is not a basis for recon. And the only recent time you have
been treated like a human by your h, is now when you are detached AND when money issues are in his face.

Is it possible you are confusing a modicum of "conflict free/crappy treatment free" and a throw away compliment,

with some form of seismic change in your h along with sudden self awareness AND a deep commitment to renewing the m?

As for retrovaille - I got a lot out of it and it was the one time I sensed genuine remorse in my h. Which lasted me over 5 years b/c I'm not sure I saw more than 5-6 minutes afterwards, cumulatively.

So why do you think your h might attend? (I'm not saying he won't, I'm asking why you believe he would.)

Step back, take a breath.


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change