So some weird developments lately. I've continued to practice DBing for my own mental well being. DBing teaches to try and maintain a friendly collaborative relationship when possible with your partner/ex-partner when children are shared for their health. I'e occasionally offered to cook dinner for WH when tossing stuff together for the kids. I've even joked with him over shared stuff. And he has suddenly started pursuing me very hard. Yesterday we were driving home with the kids and he was asking if we could stop by the bike shop so he could pick up his bike and bring it home, I agreed because it was no big deal.
He looked surprised and asked why I was being so nice. I told him I was just being myself, he commented it had been such a long time since he has seen this side of me and what had changed. I told him that I was no longer stressed out and wondering who he was after, if the other shoe was going to drop. I told him when you are divorcing someone it no is a question if they will cheat again because you are removing that option. HE was very quiet and then we went on with our day.
Today we did a lot together, he came with me to drop the kids off at Sunday school and then we visited some shops, picked the kids up after their classes and then we went shopping. We continued to joke and just talk about regular stuff friends discuss. HE continues to pursue hard but I am very pulled back. I don't return his flirtation and I am keeping an arm's distance from him. I am...puzzled.
Do I sit us down and ask WTF? I am scheduled to start the petition this coming week and then the money starts to flow. Do I put this on hold and see where the pieces fall? Do I temp check and adjust accordingly? There is a Retrouville on the weekend of the 21st, do I throw that out as a plan regardless of starting the D process? My DD has been especially happy and calm seeing her father and I chat like old friends.
One thing is for sure, I have VERY strict guidelines if WH wants to rebuild our marriage. No female "friends" as he has horrible boundaries, the snapchat needs to be deleted or the single female folks removed, and REAL DEEP introspection from WH to get to the "why" he felt it was ok to cheat. I am just sort of meandering around here.
M 10yrs T 13yrs BD #1Oct 2015-PA between WAH and COW BD #2 April 2016-WH resumed PA, she broke it off Jan 2 2017 WH says he wants divorce April '17-Letting go 2018 D busted DD8, DS6, DS3
