I admitted a strong reaction to your behavior because I wanted to step back to examine why.
(I'm referring to when your wife asked you on short notice, to take the kids so she could see a doctor.)
Were you at all interested in why I had that reaction? I think you actually that because I had a strong reaction, you would "refuse to discuss it" with me or anyone??
That's really puzzling to me. Maybe I misunderstood.
Okay so Yes I think you made a mistake there. Here is why:
Your wife will always be the mother of your children (and their only mother). Regardless of your marital status, or hers.
When a parent takes ill suddenly, and decides to seek help on a Friday night and ask for help (the "help" being to watch the kids) from the person they are divorcing, it's a big deal. She wasn't asking for you to fix something or lend her money for clothes.
I think she was concerned and maybe afraid. Ending up in the hospital "just for monitoring" is not a small thing. Your minimization of it is something for you to look at perhaps with your IC. It's rationalizing after the fact, like because it turns out that she's not deathly ill, you made a good choice. But I would not use the "ends justify the means' argument with this type of thing. Hence erring on the side of compassion and using this as a great chance to show her a 180. (Even if you have no hope at all, it's okay to step up to the plate. It's not just about getting her back, you know? Sometimes we don't get a payoff for a kind act. That's part of what makes it kind.)
When I was unexpectedly sick and the hospitalized a year ago, I was freaking terrified. My sisters totally supported me.
My h's failure to show up for me even after I asked, was the single biggest factor in my decision to file for divorce. He did not have my back when I really needed him. He is an MD and justified his absence by saying said he was "monitoring from afar" (and I can only assume he justified this further by the fact that I had siblings caring for me).
Yes I knew we were having problems. Still, his absence showed me something that was a deal breaker.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
