MLC or WAS... either way, I'm here

[LAJar]

My H would definitely fall in the category of unresolved childhood issues. I understand this but still doesn't make it any easier to see how he is destroying my life. I know I will pick myself up and come out on the other side, but the effect of these hurtful decisions is unbelievable. I will pack up again and sell a house we've been in less than a year, put money out for a L that I so desperately could use for something else, live life again at this time lonely and as a single person, all the while he is probably in love and "loving" life. Maybe only temporarily, but maybe not. I keep thinking he should never have gotten married if this is the way he was going to treat the R and me. I have little sympathy for someone who has had issues growing up and continues to compound them by destroying a stable life with poor life choices. My H was so emotional for the lack of R with father and feelings of abandonment and now the shoe is on the other foot and he is doing the same to my son. I don't need him to put those same hang-ups on my son and think it's justified because he no longer wants to be with me.

Clearly I am at a point of anger in my process. I hate the ups and downs I am experiencing. I just wish this was all done and I could move on like he never existed, if I have to move on without him. Seeing H in an EA/PA is so painful and why I'd just like to have him out of my life. I don't see it ending in any time I think is acceptable for me to stand. Just where I am today... let's see what tomorrow brings?