OK I now have proof of a cake eating situation unfortunately. My W went out with her girlfriends last night. As she got pretty inebriated I thought this would be a good opportunity for some light touch checking for "mistakes". No intention of looking at cell messages (as stated here previously) but I did see some instant messaginging going on with the OM during the evening. Rather depressingly she was sharing the same messages between the two of us.
So I guess what is now needed is the "final" confrontation. I will of course need some concrete evidence for this so I will just bide my time. This was always going to be the plan i.e. a long term campaign (if I can summon the appetite; this sitch is an exact match for one of Huizenga's scenarios). The sad thing is it did not have the shock value of old (my gut had been telling me as much anyway). So the 20th anniversary bash, the idyllic holiday counted for nought. And not to mention the MC (had to start that as that was the immediate agreement after the previous confrontation and of course I was assured she would stop the A, hmm). The poor thing is clearly deeply in love.
So what to do? If I go down the shock and awe exposure route it would of course be held against me (at least in the short time). In exposing to her family, this may well finish off the frail live in mother (and my W knows this) so that's a heavy burden. My DD is of course the main focus (and the only reason I have not filed thus far). So as I see it, here in the UK I have the options of stay here ("open", for the DD's sake), legal agreement (one of us moves out, with all the finances agreed), legal separation and D (the last two involving lawyers).
This is such a shame to say the least as we are more close now than we've ever been. But what an ego boost to have two people making a fuss eh?
arrrgh!
Me 55, W 50 D 8 M 20 T 27 MIL w/ us BD 01/02/17 workplace A (12/09/16, EA -> PA) OM senior manager, long term W, child 14 now: limbo (my choice)
"Don't care what you may do, we got that attitude!" - Bad Brains