Limerence and My Situation 5

[Matrix]

I refuse to be Plan B and a doormat. I know what I bring to the game and I know it is damn effin' good. I won't settle for less now.

I know that this post was not really about Mark's thread, but I have been thinking about this idea for a long time now.

The reality is, we are ALL plan B. Or we were plan B at some point. Or some of us might have been plan zero. The fact that our W/H chose to run off with AP, makes us plan B by definition. If we were plan A, they would not have run off.

I have also come to realize that any LBS, in the history of the world, that has reconed their marriage, was plan B. If our S's A has blown up in their face and they return, we are plan B. I have often thought that I don't want to be plan B. These very boards preach that we can't be plan B. If that is the case, then we all need to go file D right now because currently, we are plan B.

Here's the rub though. I recognize that I am plan B for my W now (or plan zero and I don't know that yet). If I save my marriage and we decide to recon, I know that I would be going into piecing as plan B. But!!!...We have to begin to recon knowing that were are plan B, but our goal needs to be to return as plan A to our S. That is the only way it can be done.

We were all once plan A for our S's. They picked us, loved us and married us. I know I was plan A for my W for a very long time. My thought is that, if we were all, at one time, plan A for our S's, why can't we become plan A again in the future. I don't see any other way around this concept.

So, I have accepted that I am plan B or plan zero right now. I also have hope that if I ever get the chance, I can become plan A again and I think that Mark's mind is operating in that same way.