W told me it seemed like I knew "all the right words to say" and that it was kind of "annoying".
You're doing just fine, she's still in the "these are just tricks to get me back" mode. You're doing a 180, it's different than what you did before, so she doesn't trust it. She will with time. Just keep it up. Nice work by the way, sounds like you are doing everything really well!
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W let me know that she has been feeling a little "smothered" and that she needs space... like I am always around her and sometimes she needs time to herself. I listened, validated what she said, etc. MC inquired further. W explained that it had been a rough couple of weeks, her brother's wife miscarried (bringing up painful memories of our own miscarriage), a good friend passed away, and work has just been hell for her. I told her that I was concerned for her and had just wanted to be there for her if she needed, but could totally see how me hanging around her more could be stifling.
It's great that she's verbalizing that and you are validating. Now do what you can to back off and give her that space she's asking for. Our inclination is to double down on pursuit when they say they need space, like try to talk to them more and "be there for them". But sometimes giving space is the most loving, sensitive thing you can do for someone.
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The reality is that, comparatively speaking, yes, I have been "around" her more the past week and a half or so, primarily because she has been going through a rough spot. But I have been far from a constant presence.
Maybe YOU think that, but her perception is her reality. So listen to her and give her space. If you give her too much space she will let you know I'm sure.
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Also, her moodiness/etc. has clearly been worse since last Friday's call from bff while bff was sitting with OM in bar, which brought my W to tears.
The only thing clear about that is that you are mind-reading You may be right, but you don't know and it doesn't really matter. She's going to grieve OM, I know that is not fair to you but it happens and it's part of piecing.
Piecing ain't easy. If you read the threads of others that have been through it they often remark that it's a heck of a lot harder than DB'ing. Hang in there, sounds like you're doing quite well, you just need to be consistent and patient at this point.
You may be right, but you don't know and it doesn't really matter. She's going to grieve OM, I know that is not fair to you but it happens and it's part of piecing. 
