I have imagined us being at a beach with me handstanding over her and doing handstand pushups to kiss her. I have imagined taking her and kids to trips. I have imagined I learn to play her favorite song with guitar and play it in our second wedding! I have imagined how much better husband I would be now if I got the chance (in terms of affection, being there for her, sex, etc) but I realized this is only hurting my process.
I remember having those crazy fantasies about W after BD as well. I think a lot of that is because BD triggers the LBS into a sort of one-way Limerence. Someone needs to come up with a name for it, maybe LBSerence We start thinking of all the wonderful, romantic moments we could have with the WAS if we can recon. They are having the same thoughts! Unfortunately their fantasies are all based on OP (real or imaginary). Anyway now I look back and frankly have to stifle a laugh at those thoughts. My XW was NEVER the kind of person that liked walking the beach hand-in-hand or being serenaded. It's amusing to me now to think back and wonder that in my BD-addled state I even thought that would EVER be a possibility with her.
It takes a lot of time for us to exit the fog and remember what our M was really like, and to contemplate what recon would really look like, and to decide if recon is even something we want. I now do all those romantic moments with my GF. We have many more shared interests than W and I ever did, we love doing stuff together, the sex is mind-blowing. I never could have had this with W if we reconciled, I would have been right back to settling for an average marriage. Don't get me wrong, if I could rewind things and do something to prevent it all from happening I think I would. Not for me or even for W, but for my kids. But life doesn't have pause and rewind buttons, so we move forward and do the best with the cards we're dealt.
We start thinking of all the wonderful, romantic moments we could have with the WAS if we can recon. They are having the same thoughts! Unfortunately their fantasies are all based on OP (real or imaginary). Anyway now I look back and frankly have to stifle a laugh at those thoughts. My XW was NEVER the kind of person that liked walking the beach hand-in-hand or being serenaded. It's amusing to me now to think back and wonder that in my BD-addled state I even thought that would EVER be a possibility with her.