I'm sorry things are so hard. I can't imagine having to work with H while separated. Maybe this is not an idea you are thinking about, but do you have to keep working with him? It must be hard to detach if you have to see him every day. There is also a power dynamic that is not healthy for you. You described feeling positive and optimistic, and then you are being disciplined and sent home by him. That must be very frustrating! And this is a person you are trying to save a M/family with, while simultaneously detaching from? If the D goes through, would you continue to work with him? I am wondering, because if the idea is to "act as if," then maybe it's time to look for another job? Would you feel better not having to see him every day?

Blu

“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela