Sometimes to get a glimpse of the other side of the tunnel, I go and read the piecing threads - esp by Storm and Blu. It gives me a big reality check on what putting things back together can look like if W does decide to do recon and goes through everything you need for her to do - genuine remorse, MC, total transparency, honesty, etc etc. Even then it can be massively difficult for the LBS. The piecing threads are honestly very revealing.
The person coming back to you is definitely not the person you were married to, and that is huge IMHO.
And that is why I've been saying that it is so important for the LBS to figure out what they need out of a relationship - whether with W/H or someone else. And if the W/H coming back isn't willing to do that work with you, then you have come to place of comfort and strength through DB that you can easily walk and not look back.
I refuse to be Plan B and a doormat. I know what I bring to the game and I know it is damn effin' good. I won't settle for less now.
