I know you want know what your wife is thinking. Please trying to figure out her other relationship with OM. People are willing to go thru crazy things to be with someone. Look at what you are willing to accept.
You say what you are willing to, because she is your wife. Don't apply your principals to someone else's. Maybe your wife is enjoying the chase. Think about that. If she is enjoying chasing him, why can't she enjoy chasing you.
Stop worrying about this other relationship, I know it's hard. Put all the focus on you.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.