I think you are comforting yourself and rationalizing why this EA is not going to work for her. I agree with you that she is being short-changed by only being allowed to call him 5-7, etc. But evidently, for now, that is enough for her.
These spouses who leave..... with the exception of the few like Sandi who give us a glimpse into that mindset, I don't think we can possibly imagine, must less figure out their next moves or motivations or timeframes.
IMHO, you are giving her WAY too much rent-free time in your head and heart. No matter what you want to believe, her needs are being met right now by OM. Those two times they met physically- that could have been enough to light a fire that is fueled by the phone, facetime, etc. Don't underestimate the motivation that some people get, just from the memory of that physical time together, to allow themselves to believe what they have is real. We all know those R are a far cry from the ones we have with them, based on time, history and real commitment, but that does not mean they see that.
Replace all that "trying to make sense of it or figure out why this is working for her", for your OWN sake, and just accept that it is. Move your focus to you, and what you can do while she's checked out, to make yourself better, stronger and happier.
Her situation doesn't make sense to us, but then again, what story on here DOES make sense to us? We are on the side of this where logic, common sense, loyalty, etc. are important to us. Not always so for others.
PS- Try to avoid roof work during the 5-7 pm hours. Somehow I can see that situation either ending badly for you in a roll/fall off that roof, or making you a millionaire when you sell the scene to a film maker for a situation comedy.
M-60 H-51 M-14 years BD 12/26/16 S 1/1/17
"First the pain, then the rising." Glennon Doyle Melton
