I think the hospital incident would have been a good opportunity for you to 180.
Your future partner would benefit from an Lcause who can be supportive of those in need and who places his kids' needs in a somewhat scary situation over his own plans.
Some posters need help pushing back against spouses who are constantly taking from the LBS. Others need help learning to step up.
It can cause problems when people take the wrong advice.
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
If I was dating a guy and his ex wife called and said she needed him to watch the kids because she was sick and needed to see the doctor, he sure as heck better cancel OUR plans and do that. As long as she wasn't a woman who took advantage, I would have lose respect for a guy I was dating who wouldn't help out the mother of his kids by caring for his own kids because he had to GAL.
On the other hand, if she called all the time still expecting him to step into husbandly duties like fixing things around the house and he canceled our plans for THAT, well, I'd have to set up a boundary. But I fully expect any dad I ever date to be willing to take his kids for emergent matters.
Some posters need help pushing back against spouses who are constantly taking from the LBS. Others need help learning to step up.
It can cause problems when people take the wrong advice.
Excellent.
Completely agree.
Think there is a fear that when the WAS requests something, the LBS sees themselves as being "used", so they push back to show them 'you walked out - don't expect me to be there anymore' - rather than see the situation for what it is. But as mentioned previously the rules aren't RULES, but pointers to a more open/self confident/controlled lifestyle and they would never encroach on the basic fundamentals of being a Father. (not aimed at you LC)
First, how is that a 180? Do you really think I didn't watch the kids if she had to go in our M? What husband does that? I've taken the kids out several times she's been ill or tired. Second, if I misinterpreted her vague message once, I'm not "supportive of those in need"? That was a bit rude message. Absurdity goes out of roof when I'm supposed to travel for 4-5 hours destroying weeks of planning and someone else's day just to wait if something happens to my XW...
I'm a bit annoyed of these responses. She didn't say she was hospitalised, she said it's a possibility that she needs to go to see doc again. I interpreted it myself that she went to hospital as D was again put to her grandparents. It could have very well been a nice little romantic weekend with OM again for what I know. I didn't ask, just thought so but I'm now leaning to the other.
In my thirties, BDd 2017, divorced 2 young kids new relationship
