I realized I worded that bit about kids suffering a bit wrong. I meant vast majority of marriages are good enough so that the kids suffer in divorce.
Btw I personally find it much more likely that those people who regret the divorce is because of the next partner is not any better, I don't think it's because the LBS is attractive. They realize they could have put the work to keep their M and be a united family instead of more of the same in the new person. For my particular sitch, I don't think anyone can be worse than I was. Not something to dwell on, but I do learn from my mistakes However IF this person is a better match, I don't think any amount of self growth is going to get the WAS to look back. No matter if you would be the absolute knight in shining armor or the princess and even if you would have fixed every issue they had in you. Even if you were, hypothetically, perfect.
J9 I'm not going to always be there for her. I can't expect my next partner to accept that. Of course I can take the kids when needed, but "always to count on me" is just too much. Maybe you meant it as taking care of the kids which I agree with. Of course I also wish all the best for her.
In my thirties, BDd 2017, divorced 2 young kids new relationship
However IF this person is a better match, I don't think any amount of self growth is going to get the WAS to look back. No matter if you would be the absolute knight in shining armor or the princess and even if you would have fixed every issue they had in you. Even if you were, hypothetically, perfect.