I am keeping you, your family and your xh in my thoughts and prayers. I pray that he's finally hit bottom and come to realize that you and the girls were the diamonds in the tiara. He still has a ways to go and I hope, that in the months ahead, he can make amends and be there for all of you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.