[quote=Joseph9]Thanks Smithy....You are totally right, it is just hard to accept sometimes. I think my W actually enjoys having our children part time. In her mind this is the perfect set up. She can do whatever she wants and doesn't have to answer to anyone.
Even though this^^ is mind reading and we are not supposed to do it, it's very hard not to. We don't understand choices WE would not make. That's part of why it's so hard to accept (pain we don't see the direct cause of, or understand, is harder to process. So we must learn to accept what we do NOT understand or we will stay stuck in the limbo land of "asking why"...
We often project our values/priorities onto our spouses. We don't get that they have a different measuring tool (or they are shifting from one extreme to the other, internally).
There are justifications we don't know of, and probably would not accept anyhow.
FYI, my h was once an involved dad. I validated that even when his hours were relentless, he seemed nurtured by our family when he returned home.
Now, h has not seen our kids in a year or more. Not talking to them either. S31 said "we have all been replaced." Ouch.
And it appeared to be that way^^ from what I heard.
But h has been reaching out to my closest brother starting 2 weeks ago and has again, since. Also texted me a few times.
He told my bro "the kids aren't talking" to him and my brother said h "sounded very subdued, hurt, tired."
Well, that ^^was news to me. Turns out, Facebook and the way they appear in front of us, are NOT autobiographical documentaries.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
