Awkward Situation Got Much Worse (part 3)

[25yearsmlc]

[quote=Tate]My W has not acted on her decision to file for a divorce. In the moment, I absolutely believed her, bit now I do not think she is going to file.

She may not. She may have meant it when she said it, or hurled it out in anger,

and Or She may put you in an impossible situation, effectively daring you to file

so she can hold you responsible or so you can solve her dilemma...

Or she may be second guessing her "negative data" about you.

My only advice in this regard is to stay out of her head. It's crowded in there. Don't make yourself nuts.

your kids need you to be their rock. \

Being preoccupied by what you think she is doing/planning/feeling, is not being fully available to the kids.

That ^^ Is a regret I have about my own DB history.


Part of her change of heart is that our computer died and our air conditioning went out since then.

GW, you are really^^ inserting yourself into every action/inaction on her end. That's the opposite of detachment and will make you go crazy in a painful way.

I fixed both...not that it is a teason to not divorce, but it shows her how much I do for her on a daily basis.

^^^this is a good thing for the family, right? Okay that's great. I'm impressed by your repair skills. Seriously.

But this whole post is about what you think - she thinks OR what you think she feels - and why...


She has never once thsnked me gor keeping the household running smoothly.

Well, don't expect thanks for you keeping the house running smoothly. And try not to need her validation, okay?

Even if you were in a healthy marriage now, it's a big burden to put our self esteem on the shoulders of a spouse,

just know you "done good stuff", and work to GAL, which I know is complicated.

Maybe a meet up group? They are not dating sites (not usually) so don't worry about that piece. It's just that they are flexible.

Hang in there

and please try to keep the focus OFF HER, and ON YOU...there are free meditation apps called

"Insight Timer" and another one called "Calm". They can help with the spinning.