The situation right now is your W is so done with you and the M that just seeing you and hearing you repulses her. GAL and detaching does two things- 1) it gives her the time and space away from you that she needs to get over being angry and resentful and hopefully (eventually) to start remembering that maybe the M wasn't so bad after all; and 2) it gives you the times and space away from her that you need to start healing, finding yourself and become more independent. GAL and detaching doesn't save the M in and of itself, it paves the way to you becoming the "spouse only a fool would leave" which she may find attractive down the road.
IMO this paragraph is DB in a nutshell. When you start healing, find yourself and become more independent, IT CHANGES YOUR MINDSET COMPLETELY. What you thought you wanted may no longer be the case anymore.
