Job gave you some great advice. I also want to give you a great big hug. I don't know your whole story, but it looks like in the beginning your ex was pretty crazy and hostile. Our situations are different, but I think the same advice applies either way.
I am 9 years since bomb drop. In a nutshell, my ex left me for OW when our daughter was 6 months old. The affair began in pregnancy. My ex went on to marry her, and my daughter is now 10. I have not remarried, and I have been raising our daughter which I have most of the time.
I was awfully resistant to OWW for quite some time. I was angry. I was sad. I was betrayed. I finally decided to drop the negative feelings. Yes, I can speak of my sitch without crying now. I am friendly with ex and OWW. Have to be for my daughter. I cannot have them out of my lives or even really distanced. It's been rough, but the only way I can do it is let go.
You were baiting him the other day with all those negative things you were saying about yourself hoping he would say the opposite. I used to do that a long time ago. I finally realized my selfworth is not attached to what he thinks of me, if he loved me, if he hated me, if he regret what he had done.
My ex has no regrets. My ex did get a shallow life exactly the way he wanted it. he is happy. But my happiness is no longer reliant on his misery or his happiness. My life has nothing to do with him emotionally. It has been a challenge to separate the two when I have to see and speak to both of them often.
As far as the money goes. You either decide to take or you don't. Attach nothing else to it. No emotions, no words, no nothing.
You have got to let go. Let go of your feelings towards his GF. She is of no significance of you. Bringing her up makes you look insecure, and that you are not!
