Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 11, filing for D

[PsySara]

Thank you for the suggestions, Sky, writing it all down.

Sigh. How fitting on Oct 4 I go to the CPA and she has agreed to help with the financial affidavit. She appeared shocked that I was filing for divorce as her impression of us when coming in for taxes were of a "perfect couple." I told her I was doing a LOT of acting to present a functional, happy couple when in fact a lot was going on under the surface. She said she will be more than happy to be a go-between if WH is aware of the financial gathering. I told him about the meeting and went over the requirements of paperwork from his end (extensive compared to mine) and how she will gather it all for us and fax it over. This is for a fee of course but not nearly what my lawyer charges per hour.

She asked about who my lawyer was and I showed her the billing state for the retainer and trust and she smiled and said, "Oh she's good, I've seen her work and she's great."

I came home and took care of the kids, WH went and took a evening nap again. (rolls eyes) I asked him beforehand if we could sit down ad go over paperwork and he agreed. After the kids were fed, bathed, homework done and I put them down he stayed in bed with them. I finally came around 8:30 and asked if we could review the paperwork as I was tired. He agreed and I went over line by line the financial stuff. I also brought up the petition and went over some lines I felt were inflammatory and contentious and we discussed how we could rephrase it. I did this on purpose because I do NOT want a long, expensive, drawn out process that will just get us back to square one minus 10-50K each.

I was matter-of-fact and non-emotional and so was WH. Honestly I think he is already moving onto other pastures and is looking forward to being free to play the field in the open. When I look inside I feel some residual pain of rejection but overall just...numb. When I think back on his lies, cheating, pettiness, and immaturity I feel rage but it snuffs out quickly now. I so emotionally exhausted that I don't have the will to resist. Divorce it is, maybe it will be a relief.