WW in EA, NC w/OM(?), W's BFF interfering, part 7

[hoosjim]

This was Sandi2's most recent take on my sitch, which I thought was very insightful:

Well, sounds as if she's had a setback, alright..... which is understandable. Her best friend is adding a lot of pressure to her struggles.

What I suggest you do is to be as much fun as possible, and show PMA around her. No pressure from you.

Although the BFF has been a powerful influence, I believe at some point your W will be able to see her for what's doing to the M. Your job is to be strong and give loving support to your W. Lots of validation at this time. No fault finding. No advice in what she should do, unless she seriously asks you. And the really tough one......don't talk down about the BFF.

If you point out what the BFF is doing, it could cause your W to go into defense mode. It's time for your W to make some very hard decisions. She obviously doesn't want to be the position she's facing (thus her comment about being in a box). She feels the pressure. She's depressed. Keep her as busy as possible doing enjoyable activities, but don't smother or press too hard (if that makes sense). If she starts getting angry, back away.

Maybe a family weekend trip away (this coming weekend) would help. If not possible, have some activity planned.

I believe the next two weeks will be critical for her. Who she turns to, and the decisions she makes. As I said before, she may have to contact him one more time. And if she does, be ready to walk.....unless she can convince you she is really over OM and will part ways with BFF. That's JMHO.

I hope the MC can help.

We have a MC session set for this evening. Praying very, very hard that it is helpful.