Yesterday my W called me to discuss something with the kids. When my phone rang her picture showed up on the screen and for a split second, I totally forgot about the impending divorce. The picture is from a long time ago and I was immediately flooded with good feelings and excitement to talk to her. And then in another split second all of that dissolved and reality flooded back in. I suppose I need to clear her picture from her contact record.
Last night I had a vivid dream of spending time with my W. We were having discussions about reconciling and owning up to the things we did wrong in the first 10 years of our marriage. It was a dream I hated waking up from.
To add insult to injury she was the first person I saw this morning (due to our kid exchange). It was heartbreaking to see her after all of those good memories and realize that the person I'm fantasizing and dreaming about is gone and may never come back.
Ok, pity party over. I'm headed to the gym.
M46 W48 M11 T14 S11 D8 BD: 2016/05/27 In-home separation: 2016/11/23 Nesting: 2017/06/11 W moves out: 2018/01/07 W goes public with OM: 2018/07/12 I ask for a divorce: 2018/12/14
