Hey man! I am not sure which post of mine you're disagreeing with as I have posted a few. Just a couple of things.
As I said, I don't think you're doing anything that's anti-DB in outward execution. My only point is that I am not convinced that you can truly detach, drop the rope, and develop your authentic self unless you let her go completely and give up recon as the ultimate outcome. It may or may not happen, but you improve your chances by taking that mindset.
Do I want a recon with my W? I absolutely do at the moment. But even if I keep that buried at the back of my head, it affects my detachment and DTR process. So, for me to be faithful to the DB journey and realize that I can only control what i do, I have to look at the sitch as recon won't happen.
As i noted, lets say W wants to recon, I won't go back to the previous MR and I already know what I would need her to do. You never responded to my questions about that and I'd like you to take a look at them again.
Of course you can't completely stop thinking about her and there will be triggers, but they will fade over time as you have noted. Time is on your side.
All said - if you can DB with keeping recon as your outcome and achieve your personal goals, more power to you.
