Limerence and My Situation 4

[sandi2]

My post may not have been read, but it was no "swing".

Originally Posted By: Parkema
Hello All,
Most vets here have lived it and are now in a place where we are not, I just feel there is too much enthuses on getting to the point of D instead of the point of RC and TO ME that’s just wrong.

I don't know who qualifies as vets in your book, but I've been here regularly posting since 2007. I certainly hope your statement about vets is incorrect. Personally speaking, I have too much to do than spend my time trying to encourage people to just go get divorced instead of reconciling.

To be fair, Mark, you have received a lot of 2x4's, but I don't think it's to persuade you to divorce. The successes we have seen comes by developing a certain mental attitude toward their particular stitch. The LRT, letting go, dropping the rope, going dark, detaching, & GAL, could be seen as pro divorce if the person did not fully understand how it actually works in their favor. But it doesn't work without "the attitude" to back it up. Call it self confidence, faith, or whatever.....you've got to go for it, believing in it all the way in order to have success.

From what I can determine from reading your posts (and I have not read every one) it appears as if you are waiting around until your W's limerence runs its course. You say you are GAL, and focus on being a great dad. On one hand, you want to know, as anyone might, what else can be done to help lead to reconciliation. On the other hand, you feel strongly about the limerence process and feel you are doing all that you can. Am I right? What I'm respectfully asking here is what do you want from the board? How can we help you......or did you come to help us?

IMHO, the board members are trying to pass along what they've read, observed, or experienced. I can see you trying to help by sharing information on the NGS and limerence. That's what we do here, try to help one another. As long as we don't get too far away from MWD's teachings, the mods seem tolerate enough.

Some people will accept what we say, and some won't. Some swing 2x4's, b/c they got it from another poster. Hey, some people interpret all my posts being 2x4's.....but that's not my intention, it's just how it's perceived. Frankly, I think I'm quite soft compared to the initial years.

I am not that big into stats, percentages, ratios, etc. I mean if there was only a one percent chance your M could be saved, wouldn't you want it?

One thing I believe in, Mark, is the ole human nature. I talk mostly about wayward women, b/c I feel I know the general mindset from personal experience, observations IRL, and years of studying and reading on the subject of waywards. In my book, human nature is going to trump all your textbook information on limerance, percentages, stats, etc.

Sorry if I'm rambling. I mainly wanted to respond to the quote above. Although I can see how a discouraged newcomer may misunderstand the approach and/or applications some of us try to communicate......I truly believe our motivation is to help people save their M.