Limerence and My Situation 4

[Parkema]

lcause - Your response is quite easy for me to answer – I disagree!

Where..?
The ONLY person I’m competing against is MYSELF in trying to improve myself to be a better H OR future partner.

Why should we not validate our WW? I’m never condoning her choice to have an A and will not validate anything about that obviously BUT her behaviour with handling the kids..?
I agree with not being there to aid her emotionally that I leave for her new best friend. I just remain civil and approachable as long as my boundaries aren’t crossed.

We have children together, I have NO CHOICE but to have some contact so DTR is NOT POSSIBLE in my situation that’s just how it is nothing I can do… So I make a good thing out of a bad situation and detach as my previous posts suggest, not ideal BUT my life NOT YOURS. We all have different issues or circumstances.
I’m doing a good job of DR’ing but have modified it to aid my situation – MWD “if it doesn’t work stop and do something different”, I’m still seeing no benefits to what I’m doing except no talk of D much (twice since BD and can see these coming a mile away).

I’m sorry I do thank everybody’s time and energy in aiding me in my situation BUT your views are biased to your own situations do you agree? Even the most hardened vet came to these boards relying on the vets at that time based on their experience and the good old books!

I think you’ll find what I use to aid me is based on FACT and medical study’s, you mention my reliance on this and stats what do you base your methods on? MWD will mention or refer back to limerence. You mention that their R may be the fantasy they believe it to be and will be forever, sorry the stats and “experience” on these boards would suggest MOST OF THE TIME WS would consider RC it’s just the BS has moved onto pastures new.

I continue to detach and have SC whilst having lots of fun GAL’ing and building a future with or without my WW.

Benito – thanks for your input and congratulations in reclaiming you MR back.

What you posted is very much like my situation and only differs slightly due to the nature of my ability to DTR and remain able to see our children as much as I AND WW would like.

This ^^^^^^ means I have to modify the DR principles to suit and would advise anybody else to do this also. I understand that she’s gone and the MR in her eyes is over BUT in time who knows! You are proof and some of the comments on these boards PLUS all the research would suggest RC isn’t a faraway possibility as is painted here. All I’m suggesting is that I cater my approach on RC NOT D but STILL use the DR principles that work for my situation.

Could you provide me a timeline of your situation?

I would also like to thank those on these boards as the advice I’ve received has kept me sane and pointed me in I hope the right direction.

M.