Rebuilding my life #2

[lcause]

I didn't mean it that way. I just see many people saying divorce was the best thing and that the reason is they couldn't be in the same space due to fighting. I don't think fighting/arguing is bad in R if it's constructive and seeks for a solution rather than hurting the other one/being for the need of being right. I think it's actually worse to not argue and bury the issues because it comes as resentment later on. That was probably one of our issues. Nagging and going back to normal after never really works (unless S really understands it).

I agree but it could also be that they understand the issues the second time and actually work on it. Of course the limerence will end but I think it's a bad choice to stay waiting for that because love is again a choice. What I've read, it's quite rare to turn around WAWs and I don't really believe in ASs claim. Maybe if it's a long marriage and people in it are over 50. I think being this young is very different. I don't see my XW wanting me back even though I probably have more "growth potential" than many others (confidence, depression, job, emotional openness and so on). I don't know how her hormones affected this and whether she has a post partum depression or not. I used to speculate on that but now I don't anymore. I don't personally believe they are in a rebound because it has not progressed after 4 or so months so they are actually taking it slow. The best thing I can do is to not think about it at all and just concentrate on myself. I think too many LBS refuses to really believe it's over and uses all the crutches to find a reason, not accepting the fact that love is a decision and some day the WAS just decided to stop loving the LBS.

Yeah, I don't think it's a myth completely but it probably sometimes stems more from loss of control rather than genuine will to recon, and only if the WAS has not found greener grass themself.