Rebuilding my life #2

[lcause]

I was wondering today that how can LBS show that they've changed to be more emotionally open (e.g. more affectionate, more considering, wants to be with the family)? Validation is hard when the WAS is either seeing someone new or does not share any feelings. I can see how say a change in being a coach potato or tendency to fight/yell can be demonstrated rather easily. For example I have never even raised my voice to my XW so we never had any serious conflicts (which was probably bad because fighting per se is not a bad thing if it seeks to find solutions for the conflicts). Any ideas?

Could this be the reason why WAS most often has second thoughts when LBS finds someone else (i.e. demonstrates emotional openness). Also this is probably the hardest one to turn around, although I'm not saying this causes the most harm. But say in infidelity the spouse still has very strong feelings to the cheater vs. in these cases where the love has actually died (and they think it never comes back).

Just generally wanting opinions on this. The biggest contributor to recon is probably the quality of the WASs next R. If it's really bad, it pushes them towards LBS, if it's really good they probably won't look back. Aka grass was not greener. How often it is? I can see how high conflict Rs with abuse/addiction it is often, but what about just R which was mediocre? Sadly for the LBS the WAS might realise this and decide to work on the next relationship instead of looking back. I've heard quite many long term couples who have thought about divorcing more than once but always decided to work on it instead. The feelings will come and go and come back again. My own feeling now is that you should try everything to save it before quitting unless there is abuse etc. Of course there are something you just can't compromise but those are rare.