Picking up her mess...

[marina7]

Journaling,

So today pretty rough day, I sit here and reflect alot. And I sometimes feel am I going crazy. I ask myself how someone you know for so many years. Who you once trusted with your life is no longer that person.

Not sure what stage WAW in but as you read my stitch this week W pretty aggressive again when I finally think there might be hope or a glimpse of light am now in that dark tunnel again.
W in the beginning was very evil besides going through her I don't love you, or I need space, am controlling blah blah all of the above she was also very verbal even at one point W wish me death. I again can say W broke me in every way. When I feel I can pick myself up or am moving on W has a way to break me. So this week W complain about a cell phone bill which I have nothing to do with but somewhere in W mind I screwed her over again am breaking my head trying to understand how. And then I already had planned to cancel our netflix account because we are no longer together I feel the only thing we need to focus on kids. Well I guess me canceling the account trigger W verbal abuse again from texting, this is why we never get back, you are petty, I f***ing hate you, you are a controlling person blah blah. I guess my question to any cadets or anyone who went through this is, If we are no longer together why hold on to a relationship. I honestly felt that W was right why did I cancel netflix. I felt at the moment this is reality we should have nothing together not even a Stupid membership.
But then I think is this W way of keeping our relationship together.
Is just very confusing the high and lows.

When I think is there any hope for US or Marriage W has a way to pop that ballon in my head.

I just simply don't get it or all this that is happening. I could never imagined this W never showed signs.
W has not only hurt me but our kids even friends.

Also when ever W is angry at something W goes social media crazy posting very childish things something I would never expected from her W is a very Smart women.

Is there any hope out here everyone stitch I read, I still haven't seen a happy ending usually all I read is the negative. If I didn't care I wouldn't be here but am doing everything to try to get my family back and my best friend but a day like today I just wanna throw the white flag in and surrender.