Wife Wants to Leave Marriage 6

[25yearsmlc]

Ginger,

I get what your saying. And it's notvas if I am waiting for my W to feel the consequences for her actions. But it feels as if I to be the bigger person and take the hit for her actions. Which in turn blocks her from feeling the consequences that she should be receiving.



For example, say these two were messing around. People on this board suggested that I should just quit. So he could keep his job and my W could continue to show volunteering.

No, Not so he could keep his job and your w could blah blah blah.

So you could detach better and find some peace

you connected all the actions/possible choices. The suggestion was for you to remove yourself from the equation.

If you can't, then you can't. But any discussion with the guy on the board, (and I really hope you are not just reacting to her flirting in front of you (which -If it is happening, sounds very staged,)

should be more about your marital challenge. You could share with him IF YOU MUST

and not "confront". More like you appreciate his understanding given that you are trying to get through a tough time, working on the marriage, etc"


That would be me taking the hit, while those doing wrong go unscathed. There comes a point where we need to stop shaming LBS by saying they're making themselves victims. And let them know that it's alright to shine a light on these WS and OP on occasion.

I for one am not sacrificing opportunity for WW who I am currently filed papers on. The days if thinking of W first are gone. And if someone decided to risk their career, because keeping it in his pants was impossible for him. Then I should have right to think of myself over these two without shame.

I can't speak of others, but my goal here is what I truly believe will lead you to more peace and happiness (and love, someday) than giving into the anger you feel, and playing judge and executioner in this.

I spent way too much time making angry choices - justifying them under the guise of righteous indignation, and confused my wounded ego with setting a "healthy boundary". There are many fine lines in these situations.