So If I chose to mess around with a few of my W friends and family who I know would be willing. Yes, they are that trifling. That would be okay due to it being about me and not her?
What do you mean by 'ok'? You arent going to go to jail. So, I guess, sure, it's 'ok'.
As I said in the rest of my post - what are your goals? Would sleeping with your W's friend bring you closer to it?
When it was me, my goals were around reconciling with my W. At that time, no, I dont think sleeping with one of her friends would have helped. Later, that goal morphed into having a healthy coparenting relationship with her. I still dont think sleeping with one of her friends would have gotten me closer to that goal. That said, around that time, I started dating someone else and had no problem sleeping with her. Did it get me closer to reconciling? no, I dont think so - but that wasnt my goal anymore, so it didnt matter.
So, rather than spinning like a top, maybe now is a time to step back and really do some self-evaluation.
What are your goals? what do you want?
To me, these are the fundamental questions of DB, and they get skipped over in the process to focus on the 'good stuff'. The 37 rules...detachment...GAL...LRT...etc. But the whole things with the goals. What do you WANT? Then the next step is figuring out how to get there.
The advice you are getting from East, Ginger, Rose, and me is all centered around what we think your goals are. But, I admit, we could be wrong. And in that case, the advice could be wrong.
