I STILL get 2x4’s from the board for doing this BUT I live my situation NOT THEM, I know it would have been better for WW to move out but she was having none of it and continued the A. If I had stayed there my children and I would have suffered massively.
I may get stones thrown, or accused of contradicting my own words, but IMHO, I believe there are some cases that it is better to leave, simply b/c of the horrific situation. Yes, I believe in standing up for what you believe and standing on principle. When you have a b'tch-crazed woman under your roof, you have to do what you believe is safe for your children and yourself. You know better than anyone how horrific it could become.
I am so opposed to in-house separation that I would say to move out, if your cheating W disrespects you so much that living under the same roof is intolerable. I use to say that the H should stay in the MBR and the marital home, b/c he is the head of the family and he is the faithful spouse. I still believe, in principle, that is the right decision. However, sometimes that's easier said than done! I'll have to admit that over time I have read cases about some wayward women that simply blew me away by the extreme measures they took to constantly have the upper hand. Some women will physically attack the H. She'll berate, belittle, and disrespect him in every fashion possible. The WW who has reached this point of such vile contempt is not going to reconcile with a man who stays there and endures her hatred. His only chance for R is to cause physical space by getting away from her. And, since the man has to be extra careful, or he'll get slammed in jail with false charges (yes, that has happened).......I say he needs to protect himself and leave a volitive situation.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
