LOL...that is awesome! I thought I did a good job validating myself!
My W just came back and said she could pay for a portion of what we were talking about. Since our finances are separated I have no idea how much money she has or doesn't have. So if we split things 50/50 and she says she can't pay for something. I guess at that point it is my decision if I want to pay for it 100% depending on how bad I want my D's to go or have it or participate in it?
You did validate well. But you earn a lot more, so I'm not sure anything will be paid for in a 50/50 way.
That depends on what a court orders in a divorce filing.
Joseph, I can sense the pain you are in and the desire to the "right thing". I really admire it.
Everyone has some pride and it's taken a big blow to be here, for sure. Believe me, I get it.
But when you start measuring the money, and you make more and you are not yet divorced, be careful what you push her towards.
(And to be honest, I sense a bit of the petty - but understandable part of you - that might enjoy her discomfort. Try not to spend time in that place, okay?).
If it gets financially more advantageous for her to file for divorce, is that what you want?
What does your lawyer say?
I do know a couple that reconciled after 15 months apart.
Her h was paying "enough" for her to get by, to pay the mortgage and she worked too.
But it began to dawn on her h that his HAPPY FREEDOM was going to cost him more in a divorce.
(of course it'd Cost both of them more than being an intact couple, but you get the point).
So he backed off pushing for it and he seemed to get sort of "got all comfy" in his paying less than he would owe, position.
Then his wife wanted things to move one way or the other. There were OTHER factors to be sure, (including her getting noticed by OMs in general, no one specific)
and she got back in shape, tuned up, she did a lot of great DBing,
and I believe in my heart she began to just let go of him and GAL. It showed.
Whatever it was in the end, he is making real effort at piecing since their recon a year ago. It's not easy but as she puts it, "beats the alternative, SO FAR..."
So Figure out your real goal, and if momentary delight in her problems is helping or hurting. Food for thought.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
