Limerence and My Situation 4

[Parkema]

Hi Maika,

My family and my MR IS EVERYTHING at this present time, I still know I’m very early in my situation and need to allow time to pass so that my WW can work through her issues.

I think we all know only too well what WW would need to do to aid RC I just hope I get the chance.

“Assuming we don't recon, which is what I am going to assume to move forward.” So you act as if it’s over..?

I am ALWAYS viewing a positive outcome and I act as if this is where it’s going irrelevant of what they do, I’m not concerned with them at all (although this does sometimes creep up on me). Eventually over time their R with dilute and the chemical cocktail driving the A will subside and the brain will return to a more normal condition (this is medical fact), with the DR principles being applied and the possible loss being felt of a once secure trusting committed R there could be a change in stance. The acting as if for me I feel shows a totally different person when interacting with WW than you would, which ones right? Who knows?

I prefer to work on the premise that I’d rather work towards RC than D it’s just what I do within this time and how I manage my situation that gets me the most hits across the head from the vets! .

“One of my main goals is to do a 180 on a survival behavior that I have cultivated over my lifetime - cut people out who betray my trust. I am working to not do that because it's not a real way of managing conflict and I just bury the issues rather than tackle them head on. My IC is working with me on this and I am putting this into practice with friends and family. I had a bit of a falling out with two really good friends, but I have started rebuilding that relationship after 2 years of basically cutting them out - huge change for me.“

Maika you mention this ^^^^^^ how does this view and the DR principles fit in with your situation? Do you “cut your WW out” or modify the principles to allow for RC?

I’ve learnt a lot from people like Sandi, 25years, AS and so on and appreciate they’re looking out for me, I don’t see any change in my situation but this is to be expected due to the length of the A. I have a timeframe I’m working towards after this point and if the A continues then I look at it differently with a different approach, let’s hope I don’t get to that stage…

M.