Finding my way out of the dark - Part 4

[Holding]

Thanks Doodler.

One thing I didn't mention was we had a brief conversation Saturday night before we slept in the bed together. I asked STBXW what the point of the whole "doubt" conversation was from a few days before. She said she was trying to open up to me, to get me to share my feelings with her. One of her common complaints is that I never share my feelings. (Trust me, I tried after BD and she wanted nothing to do with it.)

I debated how to respond for a moment. Then I said, "You want to know what I'm feeling? This is the worst thing I've ever had to go through in my entire life." Of course, she then turned the focus back on herself, and accused me of emotionally abusing her during the M. We went back and forth about whether what I did was actual emotional abuse, and I refused to accept that it was. My IC said I should not accept that label of emotional abuse if I don't agree with it. I know, not really a great way to validate her feelings. But I did express my regrets - once again - about all the mistakes I made in the M. In the end, I guess she achieved her goal - to get some emotion out of me.

Anyway, not sure that really matters. Just felt the need to share this.