This site would suggest NC and detachment and I TOTALLY AGREE with that statement BUT have issues with the counter-productive nature of that stance.
Yes that's normal, it doesn't FEEL right. Every fiber of our being is telling us "you need to pursue her or she won't know you still want her". That actually does work if a wife is in the beginning stages of being a WAW. The problem is once they are both feet out the door then pursuit just looks weak, pathetic and desperate to them. A WAW involved in an affair is more likely to laugh at a pursuing H then to have any romantic feelings towards him.
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The “falling in love aspect” you talk about is very real, please accept they are in love BUT a short term type not one based on commitment with real history behind it!
Well I think I mentioned this early on in your threads but my brother's wife left him after disclosing she had been engaged in an affair for over a year. She move in with OM while still married (they're D'd now though). It's been 10 years or so, they are still together but have never gotten married. Limerence always goes away, but the relationship may or may not last well beyond limerence, it's impossible to say with certainty.
