JJ...if you can figure out how to start detaching it will help. It helped me when my W moved out, it didn't stop the pain but it has definately helped me with the process. I am not detached yet but I am starting to notice that her actions and words don't impact me as much.
As far as what to do I agree with 25. I am not ready to date yet and I don't think having D papers in my hand would change it. I was reading a book last week where it was talking about needing to stand for the MR and the family when your S is in turmoil. Whether I had papers or not I would still have to do the work to be confident and ensure to be better spouse for my W or my next relationship. I also try not to take things personally and I realize I control her actions.
I wish I had better advice for you and only you know what you can handle. If you can get through the initial rush of emotions it does it get better with time.
You have no reason to not walk around with your head held high. Your standing for your MR and family that is something to be proud of.
